Building a Stronger Partnership: The Collaborative Approach to Prenuptial Agreements (Part II)
When couples plan their future together, conversations about finances and legal agreements might not be at the top of their list, but they should be! Whether you’re preparing for marriage, married, or sharing a home with a long-term partner, a prenuptial, postnuptial, or cohabitation agreement can provide clarity and peace of mind.
And there’s good news! Creating such an agreement doesn’t have to feel transactional or adversarial.
A collaborative approach offers a respectful and transparent way to navigate these important discussions.
This approach is more than a name, however. It’s a unique process that starts with goal setting and a participation agreement, and it is led by professionals — collaboratively trained through either the Collaborative Law Institute of Minnesota (CLI) or the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) — who are also qualified mediators under rule 114.
Here’s why many couples are choosing collaboration over a traditional approach.
It Encourages Open Conversations
Addressing financial expectations helps set a clear path forward and creates a framework for an honest partnership.
Example: When Emily and Maria got engaged, they realized they had vastly different approaches to money. Emily was a self-declared penny pincher, and Maria had champagne taste on a water budget. Through the collaborative process, they worked with a financial planner who helped them create a joint budget and a plan for larger purchases. This open dialogue allowed them to enter marriage with a clear financial plan and experience talking through challenging topics in a way that didn’t lead to heartbreaking arguments.
It Builds Trust
A collaborative process fosters openness and fairness, making future financial discussions easier because the couple understands one another’s feelings about finances.
Example: After five years of marriage, Sarah and Chris created a postnuptial agreement to clarify financial responsibilities as Chris started his own business. The collaborative approach allowed them to discuss legal protections and their own concerns and expectations. By openly addressing their fears—Sarah worried about financial instability, while Chris wanted reassurance about personal assets—they strengthened their trust and avoided resentment.
It Provides Professional Guidance
Access to other neutral experts such as financial planners or family specialists ensures well-rounded decision-making.
Example: Mia and Daniel were moving in together after dating for several years, but they had different financial situations: Mia owned a home, and Daniel had student loan debt. Instead of making assumptions about what was fair, they used a collaborative legal process to work with legal experts, a neutral financial planner, and a family/child specialist. The result was a cohabitation agreement that accounted for Mia’s home equity and Daniel’s debt in a way that felt balanced and supportive. That’s what we call a win-win!
It Creates a more Durable Agreement
When both partners contribute to the process, the agreement is more likely to stand the test of time.
Example: Darrell and Ben initially drafted a prenuptial agreement with separate attorneys, but the process felt contentious, and they worried about its long-term impact on their relationship. Switching to a collaborative approach helped them reframe the discussion so they both felt heard and valued. The final draft felt like a perfect reflection of their needs and goals, not just a one-sided agreement that benefited one partner more than the other.
Much like relationship counseling, collaborative marital estate planning isn’t about anticipating failure; it’s about establishing a respectful framework for the future. By shifting the focus from protection to partnership, couples can enter marriage and other new chapters in their relationships with confidence, clarity, and a shared vision. In this way, their financial and personal goals can align for years to come.
Because we’re human, partners in a relationship will inevitably face challenges and disputes. However, those who have started with a healthy foundation will have a greater chance of facing these future conflicts respectfully and collaboratively.
Whether you’re planning to marry, adjusting to life as a married couple, or cohabitating with a long-term partner, having clear legal agreements fosters stability and mutual understanding. Miroslavich Law is here to guide you through the process as you create a document reflecting your unique relationship and financial goals. Reach out today to learn more!
